Solution Workshop - Are We On The Same Page?

Thesis:
1. Restate the thesis in your own words. If the thesis is a question and not an assertion, make it an assertion. Make sure the words “although” and "because" are in it.

Although office environments require many personalities to operate, personality conflicts can damage the professional atmosphere of an office because the effort required in finding a solution to the conflict, conflicts divert employee attention from their primary duties, and the overall quality of work will decrease.

2. Does the thesis state the author's position on a controversial topic? Is it at the end of the first paragraph?

The thesis does state the author’s position and it is located at the end of the first paragraph.

Reasons:
List below the author's reasons for holding his or her position. Are they listed in the thesis, or in the body of the paper? They should be listed in the thesis, and expanded upon in the body of the paper.

1. Valuable time wasted
2. Others prefer not to participate
3. Reduces office efficiency

Audience:
Who is the author's audience? Do they already agree with the author, or is the author writing to the opposition? How can you tell? Give specific examples.

The author’s audience is her co-workers. I cannot tell if the audience agrees because there are not many examples. The author is only writing to her co-works because she uses phrases such as, our office, we need, our clients, and our Doctors.

Counterargument:
List the counterarguments (arguments of the author’s oppositions) used in the paper (there should be at least three). Does the author adequately address these arguments? Do you think there are other arguments that could be addressed? Do you see any logical fallacies?
1. Disagreements can foster togetherness.
2. Disagreements are the exchanging of ideas (a little far fetched but could work)
3. Disagreements show how passionate works are

Title:
Does the paper have an interesting title? If not, help author come up with one.

No interesting title. Death of an office, Battlefield workplace

Introduction:
Is there a catchy lead sentence? What is it? If there isn't one, what would you suggest?

The lead sentence could be catchy but the statement There is no doubt, kills it for me. Try “A new infection is affecting offices around the local area, and it has been identified as drama.”

Conclusion:
How does the author conclude the paper? What do you think of it?

The conclusion starts the same way the introduction starts.

Flow/Transitions:
Does each paragraph expand upon the thesis? Do the paragraphs flow? Which paragraphs have bumpy transitions?

Some of the transitions are good some are bumpy. Some of the paragraphs flow so repeat themselves.

When I read this essay, I see that you are part of the drama either directly or indirectly. It sounds to me that you are anger about something that has happened in the workplace and you wrote the essay from that perceptive. If you try to view the problem from the outside and present your solution from the outside, your position will be more effective. As it stands, you sound like part of the problem and not part of the solution.